confession

i run from you.

most of the time i have a hard time even believing in you.

i'm not so much embarrassed of you as i am horrified at the actions (and inaction) of the people who say they think you are the greatest.

i'm trying. i really am trying. to be humble. gracious. forgiving. patient.

love.

i'm trying to realize that i am no better than the people i am frustrated with. i know i am insufferable. i know i am occasionally illogical. i know i am usually stubborn.

i am trying. i am also failing.
i am so sorry.

i am so sorry that i can't express myself. that i can't love. not really. i'm far too selfish. i am sorry that i argue so much.

i'm sorry that i've changed my mind.

i'm sorry that i'm struggling to love you.

i'm sorry for admitting it.

i wish simple was the answer.

it probably is.

but simple is hard.

i'm sorry simple is so hard for me.

please forgive me.

please help me.

amen.